Trump: It's Illegal to Boycott Tesla

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It’s a new week, so I might as well start with a post that will likely get me disappeared and deported. Because that’s what happens now when you hurt the feelings of the richest man in the world.

Table of Contents

• Elon’s Very Bad Day

• What Constitution?

• DUI in a Tesla

• Just a Reminder

• Daddy Will Make It Better

Elon’s Very Bad Day

Co-president Elon Musk had a very bad day yesterday. To start things off, his social media website was subjected to a vicious Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS) attack by potentially two large hacking organizations. These types of attacks use compromised computers all over the globe to target a specific website in hopes of overloading the servers.

For large websites, it can take thousands of computers to accomplish this goal. It’s unclear how big the botnet was that attacked Twitter, considering Musk fired much of the technical staff when he bought the company. However, it’s still a big undertaking to bring down a site for most of the day with the size and reach of Twitter.

Musk went on to blame Ukraine as a possible country of origin for the attack. Because of course he did. The thing with these types of attacks is that the attacking computers are compromised machines all around the world. The origin IP addresses of the computers are virtually meaningless because they’re just computers (like possibly the one you’re reading this newsletter on) that have been infected with a virus.

Compounding matters, the #TeslaTakedown efforts to protest at Tesla stores across the country are apparently working well. The Tesla stock price dropped by more than 15% yesterday, and Tesla superstar reporter Lora Kolodny at CNBC points out that is the single biggest drop in 5 years.

Let that sink in.

Mommy dearest tried to come to his special little boy’s rescue over the weekend by blaming all of the Tesla protests on paid actors. Who is paying the tens of thousands of people protesting? We all know who Maye Musk thinks is behind the payments.

Once you add in the fact that yet another SpaceX Starship rocket exploded on takeoff, Musk is having a bad time at things. At least he can find some joy in stripping social security away from Americans.

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What Constitution?

Regardless of your opinion about the situation in Gaza, we all should be able to recognize that protesting is a protected right guaranteed in the First Amendment of the Constitution. You might not always like the speech, but if we pick and choose what speech is free speech based on how it makes us feel personally, it goes against the whole point of the amendment. The whole point of the amendment is to protect speech that might make us feel uncomfortable.

That’s why the Trump Administration’s arrest and potential deportation of Mahmoud Khalilj — who has a green card and can only have that revoked legally by an immigration judge — is so chilling. He said some things the government (and maybe even you) don’t like, so they’re illegally trying to send him away.

The administration picked someone who might be controversial as its first attempt to disappear someone for political speech because they knew some people would be in support of that particular guy getting the boot. But normalizing this behavior means that anyone Trump defines as an enemy could get sent away. It doesn’t matter if they’re here illegally, legally, or were born here.

Which is why Trump declaring that a boycott — and presumably protest — of Tesla is illegal is such a horrifying thing to read. It could be just the ramblings of an old man suffering from dementia, trying to make Elon Musk feel better, but since it comes on the same day that Trump took credit for his acts against another protestor, it’s not a stretch to think he’d attack #TeslaTakedown protestors, or people who post online encouraging you to sell your Tesla and boycott the brand, in the same way.

So I guess if I’m sent to Guantanamo I appreciate you all subscribing to and reading my drivel over the years. Because nobody in our government is going to stand up to Trump’s authoritarian acts, so who knows what’ll happen next?

DUI in a Tesla

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson’s Chief of Staff had a run-in with law enforcement after the not-State of the Union last week. He was quite intoxicated while driving his Tesla because the party of family values thinks it’s okay to drive drunk. He crashed into another vehicle.

It’s being reported that he was so drunk he couldn’t figure out how to open the glovebox in the Tesla, and the onboard computer couldn’t understand his slurred speech when he tried to use voice commands to open it.

Requiring a touch screen soft button press to open a glove box is ridiculous, and it’s a trend that other automakers shouldn’t pick up, but it is objectively hilarious this dipshit was so drunk he couldn’t get his registration out for law enforcement because he couldn’t string together the phrase “open the glovebox” coherently enough for the voice command to understand.

Just a Reminder

Yesterday Tesla’s stock took quite a beating. It’s normal for people to “buy the dip” the next day and see the stock rise a bit. However, there’s no indication that anything has changed fundamentally for the business, so if you’re hoping that the stock will continue to drop don’t get too discouraged.

I’m not a financial advisor and this is not financial advice. Just a trend I’ve noticed over the years.

Daddy Will Make It Better

Remember how Republicans proclaimed that “Daddy’s home” in regards to Trump coming back into the White House? Yes, I thought it was gross, too. But Daddy is now trying to come to the rescue of Elon.

If you noticed in the screengrab I shared earlier regarding Tesla boycotts, the President also mentioned that today he’d go out and buy a Tesla.

Presumably, a staffer is going to go buy a Tesla for him. Or Musk is going to gift him a Tesla. The idea of him getting in his motorcade and driving to a Tesla store to buy a car is something that absolutely won’t happen.

But expect to see some media around it.

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