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Playbook: How to Dominate EV Sales Right Now and Forever
Plus, you can save democracy in the process.
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While President Musk is out there running the federal government into the ground, he’s neglecting the EV company he runs at a time when it could use the leadership of someone who knows what they’re doing. Now is the best opportunity for a competitor to swoop in. Let’s get into it.
In This Issue
European Tesla Sales Suck
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Kittyfly / Shutterstock.com
This week January registration information was reported across the proverbial pond, and it is good news for EVs. New EV registrations are up in most places as newer, better-priced models go on sale.
However, it’s terrible news for Tesla. Like, really bad.
Bearing in mind that Elon Musk did his Nazi salute on January 20th and that an updated Model Y went on sale in Europe last month, the numbers don’t fully reflect the overall fallout (nor any gains from a refreshed model).
In the United Kingdom, registrations are down 7.78% over January of 2024. That’s not that bad and can be attributed to an old lineup of products. But in Germany, where they know a thing or two about Nazis, registrations are down 59.5%. In France, it’s 63.4% down.
In the words of Elon Musk, “Let that sink in.”
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Agencies
In Spain, Tesla might as well be dead with a 75.4% drop in new Tesla registrations in January. Overall, across the continent, new registrations are down 50.4%.
That’s extremely bad news that Tesla shills will likely blame on the Model Y transition. However, Fred Lambert points out at Electrek (yes, I’m as surprised as you are) that the Model 3 was transitioning at the same time last year and didn’t create these horrible numbers.
While the stock is down around 8% for the last 5 days of chaos, the stock market hasn’t seemed too interested in Tesla making cars or being all that profitable. As long as Elon is making outrageously false claims that no regulator will actually enforce, the stock will continue to be a shit coin meme bubble.
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There’s Gold In Dem Der Hills
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Shutterstock.com
If I were a competitor to Tesla, especially an all-EV manufacturer, I’d be smelling the blood in the water. Anyone who purchases a new Tesla after January 20th has basically been labeled by the automotive community as a supporter of Nazis. Whether that’s an accurate statement or not, that is what’s going on.
There is also a swatch of Tesla drivers who are being harassed and called names for driving a Tesla. While I don’t condone violent behavior, I do understand why people are reacting this way. It’s pushing people to want to get rid of their Teslas. But not everyone can afford to, so why not take advantage of that?
Offer something like a $5,000 acquisition offer for any trade-in of a Tesla vehicle. Hell, make it $10,000. Help every Tesla owner switch to your fantastic [insert model here] and then flood the used car market with cheap Teslas. Crashing the residual value of Tesla vehicles would make it extremely difficult for Tesla to afford to lease the new ones, and even getting loans or doing other day-to-day business when their product is virtually worthless would really hurt the company’s ability to function.
Yes, you’d be losing money now. I get that. But think of the long-term goals.
More EVs on the road: With extremely cheap Teslas on the road, more people will buy an electric vehicle. More people will see the value in electric vehicles. And when they turn around to replace that electric vehicle, they’ll come to you to buy a new electric vehicle. That’s a long-term win.
You’d be out a competitor: It’s unlikely that Chinese EV makers will be able to make it into the United States, and Tesla has long been willing to manipulate the market to remain the number one sales leader. They’d be gone. You could take over as the EV sales leader.
You’d have more regulatory credits to sell: Tesla makes money because it sells credits. You’d be selling way more EVs so you’ll get the credits to sell. You’d make even more money.
There’s virtually no downside, while also helping defend the world against a billionaire Nazi. What’s not to like?
Hey, Jose Munoz! I’m looking at you, buddy. Hyundai Motor Group collectively has the resources to crush Tesla in the United States and become the dominant player in mass-market EVs. Plus, right now, you seem to be the only major automaker committed to it, so why not buy some growth without competition?
I also think Mary Barra at General Motors could do something like this. GM already has some very competitive, affordable EVs. Does the company have the resources to offer something like this for the long haul? I don’t know. But the margins on pickup trucks could help offset some of it, though it’s unclear if U.S. GM shareholders would be interested in that kind of fight.
The Europeans already understand that Musk is bad news and is on his way out. U.S. buyers will figure this out, too, and they’ll want an alternative. You could go business as usual and hope those people stroll into your showroom, or you could aggressively go after them the way the Big 3 aggressively go after pickup truck market share. A shock and awe campaign would have a huge chance of success right now.
The Point Is: You Can and Should Fight
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BlueSky
What many people haven’t yet figured out is that this constitutional crisis we are currently undergoing isn’t like one most of us have experienced in our lifetime. This isn’t Barack Obama wearing a tan suit, or Hilary Clinton using a private email server. This isn’t the same as Kamala Harris’s “coronation" — whatever the bullshit thing that is. This is the real deal. It’s a life-changing event that is going to take decades to recover from.
An unelected, non-confirmed by Congress, billionaire oligarch with an axe to grind is sending in non-elected, non-confirmed by Congress, non-security clearance former employees into all the big government organizations and access systems. They control government payments, including whether your grandmother gets her social security check, and is illegally shutting down government institutions.
Even for those who voted for this to happen, it’s unlikely they voted for Elon Musk to illegally take control of the government. If they’re okay with Elon Musk illegally controlling the government, then they’re traitors. There’s a legal way all of this could be done, and if Trump had the mandate he claims he had he wouldn’t need to do any of this illegally.
What makes you think that after Apartheid Clyde eliminates the enemies of apartheid, and then dismantles the regulatory state that was challenging SpaceX or Tesla, will he stop there? He’ll go after other automakers. There can only be one state-sponsored automaker, and it’s not going to be any one that doesn’t have a T on the hood.
Crippling Tesla hurts Elon’s business, and it also hurts Elon’s ability to wield political power. As automakers, doing so ALSO helps you make money. So you get to protect your business, protect your shareholders, and make a tidy profit in the long run? It sounds like a solid deal to me.
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